I think this is where it starts going off the rails. I don't want to bias the reader by pointing out what I see as weak spots before you get the chance to read it cold. So:

Chapter 9: Electric Boogaloo

His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Lao Hai the First and Only. Lao the Pitiless, Supreme Imperator and Potentate, Sovereign over All that Is, and Undisputed Ruler of the Totality of Existence, had scrambled eggs for breakfast. They were runnier than he liked, but the chef prepared the finest veal Lao had ever tasted, so he decided not to have the man executed.

Afterward, dressed in his Thursday morning kimono, he left the royal suite, flanked by four bodyguards sworn to give their lives to protect him on pain of the deaths of their families should they fail, and proceeded to the meeting with his High Ministers. The floor upon which he walked was stone, a pastiche of materials from every land in his domain, hand-polished to mirror-like smoothness by the finest craftsmen, who had then been executed so that they might never work on anything more grand. It made Lao smile to think that he could stride the worlds under his rule when heading down to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Blood, sweat, and tears, Lao thought. That’s where quality comes from.

Arriving at the double doors to the meeting room, two of Lao’s bodyguards opened them and stepped inside while the other two took up positions outside the room on either side of the doorway.

Lao noted the occupants of the room: the ministers of Science, Propaganda, Finance, Exploration, and War. They all stood from their places at the meeting table and looked toward Lao. He nodded a greeting to them, which they returned, and strode to the raised chair at one end of the table. It was not quite a throne, such being impractical to have in every room where the emperor might want to sit, but it did tend to dominate the room and become the focus of attention.

“Gentlemen,” Lao said expansively. He could afford to. “Please, be seated.” He took his place at the head of the table, taking time to spread the folds of his kimono just so before continuing. “Tell me, how fares my empire today?”

The Minister of Finance, a weasel-faced man named Greenspan, spoke first. “Very well, your majesty. Production is holding steady in the areas of food, housing, and consumer products. The problem we were having with the outlying reaches seems to have cleared up thanks to the mandatory efficiency standards you instituted last month.”

“So, the workers saw the error of their ways and returned to their labors?” Lao asked.

“The survivors did, yes, your majesty. Total output has decreased 40 percent, but the production per worker has never been higher.”

“Excellent,” said Lao. “See to it that quotas are increased an additional five percent for the next production cycle.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Minister of Exploration,” Lao said to an overweight man who was sweating through his coat. “Any news to report? Have you found me any new worlds to conquer?” This was Lao’s favorite moment of the entire day, the moment of anticipation immediately before the Minister of Exploration’s report, when Lao could indulge his dreams of marching off once again to war.

“Negative, your majesty.” This was Lao’s most hated moment of the day, and had been for the last twenty years. “We have thoroughly explored the habitable section of the universe several times. There are no worlds here left to conquer. Because the aether is either too dense, below us, or too thin, above, sending living troops into those areas of the universe is very dangerous. This same fact makes it very unlikely that your robot-men will discover any life in those areas.”

Lao sighed. “Very well, Minister. Continue the search and keep me informed.”

“Your majesty,” argued the Minister of Exploration, taking his life in his hands. “We won’t find anything. There is nothing else out there. The universe is yours. Enjoy that fact.”

Lao shouted, “I said keep looking!”

The Minister of Exploration took in a sharp breath, his eyes wide. “Yes, your majesty. Certainly.”

Lao knew the Minister of Exploration was correct. That was why he didn’t have him killed for his insolence. Lao was a fair ruler. He couldn’t admit to himself that the universe and every landmass in it, from end to end and top to bottom, was his to rule. No one had slipped through his grasp. Every life in the cosmos was his to extinguish at his whim. While that did give him a certain sense of satisfaction, he would have preferred a new challenge over this endless bureaucratic busywork.

Lao maneuvered the rest of the meeting on autopilot. He wasn’t really listening when the Minister of War told him that the Mark 17 death rays were in production and should be in the hands of his troops in a few weeks. The news from the Minister of Science that the new hovertanks had been successfully tested drew forth little more than a distracted nod.

The Minister of Propaganda had just started his presentation on subliminal broadcasting via the universal communications network for crowd passivity control when the doors to the meeting room opened and a young liveried boy ran in with a message for the emperor. The note said, “Urgent communiqué on private channel. Subject: Discovery!”

Lao abruptly stood, interrupting the Minister of propaganda. “Gentlemen, an important matter has just come up. Proceed as your duties require. That is all.” Lao hastened out of the room, his bodyguards trailing after. He walked back down the hallway to his chambers and entered, leaving his followers behind.

In one corner of the well-appointed living room stood a chair facing a large screen mounted on the wall. The screen flashed the word “Pending” at him. Excitedly, he sat in the chair and activated the responder. As soon as the screen changed, before he saw who he was talking to, he immediately said, “What’s all this about a discovery?”

Then, he realized he was looking into the face of his daughter, Effulgia. Disappointed, he said, “Oh, it’s you. Here, talk to your mother.” Lao, stood up and shouted, “Marla! Your daughter has called to speak with you.”

From the screen, Effulgia said, “Father, no! I have news for you. I have found something wonderful.”

“Effulgia, my dear, there is nothing you could do with a man that someone else hasn’t tried before. I was in a very important meeting—“

“No, father, that’s not why I—“

“Or a woman, or a robot, or whatever it was we decided to call those animals with the five legs and three genders.”

A woman stepped through the doorway connecting the living room to another room of the royal suite. Her black hair had streaks of gray that the longevity treatments developed by the Ministry of Science could do nothing about. The same was true for the wrinkles in her forehead and at the corners of her mouth.

“What did you say, you worthless excuse for a man?”

“Your daughter, cow,” Lao replied. “She has called to tell us about some new trick she has learned.”

“Don’t you have an empire to run, instead of wasting your time and mine pretending to have any interest in this family?”

“Be silent, woman! Or I’ll have you deported to the salt mines of Slugovia. If they can’t use you as labor, you will at least feed them.”

“Go ahead! I’d rather be hip-deep in slime than have to spend another day here with you.”

“Mother. Father.”

“All the more reason to keep you here, where I can watch you suffer, hag.”

“Father!” Effulgia screamed over the communication screen. “I’ve found some sort of machine on an island you depopulated decades ago. It was hidden in an abandoned monastery.”

Lao spared a moment for hateful look at his loving wife, Marla, before returning his attention to the screen. “What did you say? You found a machine?”

“Yes, father. And we captured two people there who claim they know nothing about it.

“Lao sat back down, intrigued. “Tell me more.”

Effulgia looked toward Marla. “Mother, this is official state business. Please leave us alone.”

“Yes, dear,” she said to Effulgia. To Lao, she added, “Don’t waste too much time on this nonsense, you bastard.”

“Yes, dear,” Lao echoed as Marla left the room. He said to the screen, “Tell me more about these people you’ve found. What land are they from? Have they admitted anything yet?”

“No, father. I haven’t seen them yet, but our interrogator spent most of the night with them. They refuse to admit to anything. They claim to be from some place called,…” Effulgia picked up a printout and referred to it. “…Ohio. I’ve never heard of it, father. Is it far from home?”

“I am unfamiliar with it as well. What about this machine you say you’ve found?”

It was disguised as the altar of a temple in a monastery. We only found it because we detected an energy emission from it. We scanned the location and discovered it. We have technicians working to remove it for study by the Ministry of Science.”

“Do your prisoners know the purpose of the device?”

Effulgia consulted the report again. “They claim not to. I’m going to question them myself shortly. Perhaps I can be more persuasive than the interrogator.”

“Very good, my daughter.” Effulgia beamed. “Just make sure they are still able to talk once you are done with them. When you have everything ready for transport, have your ship return directly to the imperial palace. Also, before you leave, destroy the monastery.”

“Yes, father,” Effulgia smirked.

Chapter 10: Chapter Titles Are Hard

Archie spasmed awake for the eighth time. As with the previous attempts at consciousness, the pain hit him fresh. His joints ached. His muscles ached. His teeth ached. Somehow, and he was in no mood to work out how, his clothes ached.

He was lying curled up in a corner of what has was forced to admit was a cell of black metal walls and bars. Beyond the bars was a larger room, the most prominent feature of which was a padded table with straps for the arms, legs, chest, and head. Archie had spent more of the last several hours on that table than he cared to remember. In the dim light leaking in through the bars, Archie searched his body for evidence of the torture he had been put through. Whatever they had done to him, it hadn’t left a mark. Not physically, anyway.

Archie struggled to gain his feet, every movement a new experience in agony. Slowly, painfully, using the nearest bars to brace against, he managed to achieve something resembling vertical.

He staggered over to the door of his cell, and quietly called out, “Haley! Are you all right?” He heard a moan from his right. “Haley!” he called again.

“I’m here,” he finally heard her say softly.

“Are you hurt?”

“Everywhere. But I don’t think I’m injured.”

“We have to get out of here. Do you have any idea where here is?”

A loud male voice said, “You are in the interrogation chambers on the Imperial Scout Ship Perdition. You are prisoners of the Empire under authority of Lady Effulgia.”

“Who said that?” Archie asked. “Are you a guard? Can you get a message to whoever’s in charge? We don’t belong here. This has been a long series of events completely out of our control. We are here against our will.”

“That is usually the case in the interrogator’s cells,” agreed the guard, for that is who he was.

“No! I don’t mean here in this torture chamber, although that is part of it. I mean here, wherever here is. This empire you mentioned. We’ve never heard of it. We don’t know this Effulgia woman. I’m sure she’s very nice.”

The guard scoffed. “The Empire of Lao the Pitiless extends the length, width, and depth of the universe. His power is everywhere. You speak lies.”

“Lao the Pitiless,” Archie repeated. “Sounds like a fun guy.”

A heavy metal door opened with a loud clank. A female voice said, “Then you haven’t heard of him.” Archie looked that direction. A lithe figure stood in silhouette in the doorway, in front of the brightly lit backdrop of the hallway beyond the door. She slinked forward gracefully, the translucent material of her dress teasing Archie with hints of the feminine form underneath. Behind her, the door slammed shut with a booming finality, ending the salacious display.

“We haven’t met,” she continued. “I am Effulgia. I am ‘in charge here,’ as you put it. Your plea has been heard, but not understood. All who live do so under the rule and at the whim of my father. There is no land that has not felt his touch. For you not to know of him, or myself, is nonsensical.” In the dim light remaining, Archie saw a shadow approach the door to his cell. “I do so love nonsense,” she purred, her voice drawing nearer. “I invite you to join me and tell me your tale—oh!” She had reached the door to Archie’s cell and gotten her first good look at him.

“Guard! Bring me that light at once!” she barked.

“Yes, highness,” said the guard. The light moved outside Archie’s cell, shadows falling over one another, until a glowing, pale blue globe stuck itself into his face.

“Ew! He’s old!” she whined. “No one told me he was old.”

“Maybe so, miss, but if you’ve got some Viagra with you, I’m willing to give ‘er the old college try.”

“Grandpa!” Haley admonished him from her cell.

Archie shrugged, a useless gesture. “Hey, if it gets me out of this cell.”

Effulgia reached between the bars and pushed Archie backward with disdain. He stumbled and fell, re-igniting his cornucopia of pains once more. Effulgia threw back her head and laughed. “Fools! You are to be taken to the imperial palace, where Father’s personally selected master interrogators will tear your secrets from your very flesh. You will suffer agonies to make what you have experienced in my tender care seem like the gentlest breezes against your cheek. That is, unless you tell me everything now. Speak of your origin. Explain the purpose of the machine we found in the monastery. Reveal yourselves and be treated as honored guests, or keep silent and endure nightmares without end. In either event, we will understand you.”

Archie commented, “You sure do like to hear yourself talk, don’t you?”

“You dare defy me?” Effulgia snarled.

“I would defy anyone who says things like ‘You dare defy me?’ in conversation. I’m ornery that way. Listen, we tried to be reasonable. We wanted to cooperate. Your people locked us in a dungeon and took turns trying to kill us all night. Now, we’re not so much in the mood to chat anymore.”

“You are, by your words, choosing to be tortured.”

“No, I’m not,” Archie said quickly, realizing how close he was to doing just that. “All I’m saying is that all this, with the chair o’ pain and all, wasn’t necessary. Did you try asking nicely? No. Does the word ‘please’ mean anything to you? You catch more flies with honey than an electric agony chair.”

Effulgia sniffed diffidently. “I am heir to the House of Hai. I do not ask. I take.”

“Well, that’s just rude,” Archie judged.

Haley’s voice broke through the wall of righteous indignation Archie had been erecting when she said, “I’ll talk.” Effulgia turned to look at the other occupied cell. She signaled for the guard to precede her with the light, and sauntered over to it. Archie pressed his face against the bars in a futile attempt to see what was going on.

“Ah, much better,” Archie heard Effulgia say. “A bit stern, perhaps.” Her voice changed timbre as she continued, becoming more mellifluous. “Hello, there. You have something to say?”

“Haley, what are you doing?” Archie called out.

“Silence, wrinkled worm!” Effulgia snapped.

Haley spoke quietly, so Archie had to strain to hear. “I said I’ll tell you what you want to know, if you let us out of here.”

“Such a smart girl,” Effulgia replied. “And so attractive as well.”

“Thank you, your highness. You are quite lovely, too.” Archie could not believe his ears. Did Haley sound…coquettish?

“Haley Eunice Grant, you stop that right this minute!”

“I’m sorry, Grandpa. I can’t stay here anymore. If I can…share my secrets with her, and stop us both from being hurt anymore, I’ll do it.” Archie thought she sounded short of breath. “Please, Mistress Effulgia, let me offer my…knowledge to you.”

Archie muttered to himself, “I think I may be sick.” Louder, he added, “Does your mother know about this?”

“Guard!” Effulgia ordered, “Escort this delightful creature to my cabin, and tell my servants to have her cleaned and dressed in preparation for my arrival. Then return here and take the old man somewhere comfortable that he may answer some questions.”

“At once, your highness.” Archie heard an incongruous electronic beeping sound he assumed was some sort of door locking mechanism. Then came a heavy metal clang as the cell door swung wide. Moments later, Haley came into Archie’s view, being hustled out of the room with her wrist in the grip of the guard, who had his free hand resting near his hip, ready to draw what Archie imagined was some kind of gun at the slightest provocation.

“I’ll need my bag,” Haley announced to the guard, pointing at her backpack laying neglected in the far corner of the room. The guard stopped, looked over his shoulder, nodded, and dragged Haley to pick it up before they exited the room together.

Effulgia stepped into Archie’s view. “I know what you’re thinking,” she told him. “You think I’ll leave you here to rot while I have my way with your charming companion.”

“It had crossed my mind,” Archie admitted.

“And mine as well.” Effulgia smirked. “Alas, you did have something of a point earlier. The wresting of information from the reluctant by force is, while effective, not always the most efficient method at one’s disposal. I believe this is much to be preferred.”

“Well, I’m glad we could come to an agreement.”

“Yes, this way, I can torment you with doubts as to your companion’s fate, and her with yours. That’s the sort of anguish that can be maintained for days, or even weeks, without having to worry about healing you up between sessions or the difficulties of getting blood out of some easily ruined fabrics. Unless I get bored and decide to torture one of you anyway, for my own entertainment. You’ll never know, will you? Yes, I believe you’ll cooperate.”

“Great,” Archie groaned. “Glad I could help.”