Kent: Good evening. We're breaking into regular programming tonight to bring you the news on Godzilla's latest attack on our nation. I'm Kent Mannington. Beside me is Susan Bustamante. Susan?

Susan: Thanks, Ken. GodzillaScope satellites picked up the giant radioactive lizard in the Caribbean two days ago, and have been tracking his movement ever since. After crushing [Spanish accent] Puerto Rico [unaccented English] and Bermuda, experts determined Godzilla's next move would be toward the state of Florida.

Kent: Those experts were proven right half an hour ago, when Godzilla rose out of the sea off the coast of Miami and destroyed a local marina.

Susan: Now, let's take a look at our five-day forecast with Godzillaologist, Ted Appleton. What can you tell us, Ted?

Ted: Thanks, Susan. First, let's look at our GodzillaTracker 2000 doppler radar. Here you see Godzilla just coming ashore outside of Miami. We'll put that in motion for you, so you can see he's moving north. That ground clutter you see behind him is actual ground clutter, a path of destruction Godzilla is leaving in his wake.

Ted: Now, let's switch to the five-day forecast. This blue line is the projected path we expect Godzilla to take on his rampage of death. He'll come up through Orlando, then into Georgia, where our simulations tell us he'll head right through the Atlanta area before continuing his way up the coast. Finally, by Friday, we expect him to be pushed back out to sea by a fast-moving Mothra coming down from the northwest.

Ted: Of course, Godzilla can be unpredictable, so this larger white area [whole map turns white] shows the envelope of the area at risk. Susan?

Susan: Thanks, Ted. Ted, is there any indication of what Godzilla wants, or is this just yet another nightmarish rampage of mindless destruction for the big G?

Ted: It's hard to say at this point, Susan. It could be he's simply hungering for some electricity, which as you know is his main food source. Or perhaps he is actually heading toward an even worse threat we aren't even aware of yet at the beckoning of a small boy.

Susan: Thanks, Ted. Kent?

Kent: We go now to our man on the scene, Jimmy Takahara, in Fort Lauderdale.

Jim: Thanks, Kent. I'm standing about five miles north of the last known location of Godzilla. As you can see behind me, traffic is jammed with people trying to flee in terror from the giant monster. All the power is out here, Kent. All the buildings are dark. And in the distance, I don't know if you can see it--Jerry, pan over--that cloudbank isn't actually a cloud. It's a combination of smoke and dust from all the fires Godzilla has been starting tonight. Every once in a while, the cloud lights up as Godzilla breathes radioactive death onto the people and buildings of Fort Lauderdale. There! Did you see that? It just happened! Oh, it's magnificent. Truly a sight to behold.

Kent: Did I hear a roar, Jimmy?

Jim: Yes, Kent. Even though Godzilla is still miles away, that spine-chilling roar of his can still be heard.

Kent: You're doing an excellent job, Kenny. Keep it up.

Jim: Thanks, Kent.

Kent: However, our GodzillaTracker 2000 realtime radar is showing Godzilla to be less than a mile from your location.

Jim: He is? [Jim starts gesturing wildly to his crew to start packing up.]

Kent: Jimmy, try to get some pictures of Godzilla if you can.

Jim: Are you insane, Kent?

Godzilla: Roar!

Kent: It looks like he is just south of you, Jimmy. Pan that direction and show us what's there.

[The camera pans right. Other than darkened buildings under a low-dark cloud, nothing is visible]

Kent: Well, keep trying, Jimmy. And be safe out there.

Jim: Kent, it sounds like Godzilla is getting very close now, so my crew and I--

Kent: Thanks for that on-the-scene report, Jimmy. Stay right there in case we want to come back to you later.

Jim: [bleep!] you, Kent.

Susan: We have with us here in the studio an expert in the field of Godzilla, radiocryptosinozoologist Dr. Raymond Mason. Thank you for coming, Dr. Mason.

Dr. Mason: Glad to be here, Susan.

Susan: So tell us, Doctor. Where does Godzilla come from?

Dr. Mason: That's hard to say, Susan. Some believe he mutated from a normal lizard as a side effect of the nuclear bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of World War 2. My personal theory, and I have evidence to back this up, is that he is a previously unknown type of dinosaur who was frozen during a previous ice age, and released at roughly the time of the bombing by unrelated events. Either way, ever since his appearance, he has traveled the world causing mayhem.

Susan: What kind of evidence, Doctor?

Dr. Mason: Well, it's complicated. I don't know if your viewers could grasp the subtleties in the amount of time we have.

Susan: Can you simplify it for us?

Dr. Mason: Well, basically, he's 200 feet tall. No modern lizard, not even the Komodo Dragon, could function when enlarged to Godzilla's proportions. Also, his body structure does not match the physiology of any known lizard. Only dinosaurs are known to have walked on their rear legs.

Susan: But what about the fact that Godzilla breathes radioactive fire? Doesn't that indicate some connection or exposure to nuclear materials?

Dr. Mason: Possibly. However, it is equally possible that Godzilla's dinosaur species--the Tyrannosaurus Toho--evolved in an area and time with naturally occurring high levels of radiation. It could have become integrated into his biological processes in this way. What you call "radioactive fire" breath could simply be his equivalent of our production of carbon dioxide when we exhale.

Susan: But what evidence do you have that such a place ever existed?

Dr. Mason:[sigh] I knew that, as a woman, you probably wouldn't be able to understand what I'm telling you.

Susan: "As a woman?!" Why, you---

Kent: I'm sorry to break in, Susan, but we've just received word that correspondent Jimmy Takahasha has been killed, along with his camera crew. Apparently, Godzilla stepped on them while Jimmy repeatedly and frantically shouted Godzilla's name. We hope to have footage available soon. Our condolences to their families. We'll be back to our coverage after this.

JAMES TAKAHASHA
1971-2004