They say to get good drama and good comedy, you need disparate elements brought into close conjunction, which leads to conflict. In that spirit, please enjoy this short excerpt from the ultimate comedy buddy road picture.
EXT. DESERT, DAY
It's the middle of a hot summer day in the desert. A strip of two-lane blacktop fades into heat-haze obscurity in the distance. Suddenly, a 1965 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE, its top down, rushes into view, heading into the distance at high speed. The car has two passengers, HITLER and the POPE. The Pope is driving. Over the roar of the engine, the sound of a chorus is heard. CUT TO:
CAR, DRIVER'S SIDE, DAY
The Pope holds onto his tall hat with one hand while steering with the other. Beside him, Hitler is sucking on the straw of a Slushee, his cheeks caved in.
POPE
So...Jews, huh?
HITLER
(sheepish)
Yeah...
POPE
(stern)
Dude...
HITLER
I know, I know.
Awkward silence returns. Hitler puts down his Slushee cup.
HITLER
What is this?
The Pope lets go of the steering wheel and picks up a CD JEWEL CASE. Hitler grabs the steering wheel. The Pope hands the CD case to Hitler, then takes back control of the wheel. Hitler looks at it.
HITLER
(reading)
"The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Greatest Hits."
The Pope shrugs.
POPE
It was a gift.
HITLER
Don't you have any Kraftwerk?
(beat)
How about Steppenwolf?
The Pope glares at Hitler.
HITLER
What? We've heard this like five times today already.
I still can't hear what they're saying. Come on, just a
little Zeppelin, that's all I'm asking.
The Pope ignores Hitler.
HITLER
Man, when we get to Vegas I am so ditching you.
Gosh, not even a, "Oh my god, that is the most horrible thing I've ever read. How could you even conceive of such a hideously wrong thing?"
I may be losing my touch.
Posted by: David at September 2, 2004 12:52 PMWell with this picture in my mind, I just Know I won't sleep a wink tonight. I'll be too busy snickering.
Posted by: Tillie at September 2, 2004 11:46 PMWith the upgrade to MT 3.1, you gotta go approve comments when you get them, David. At least until I figure out how to turn it the hell off...
Posted by: Sekimori at September 3, 2004 03:28 PMSay... do any of your scripts actually become movies? Any at all? I'll rent one of them sometime.
By the way, I really don't want to sound sarcastic. Please read this again without sarcasm.
Nah, no movies yet. I think it has something to do with the fact that the stuff I show here is pretty much the entirety of the written product. You could get two, maybe three minutes out of them, tops.
I appreciate the vote of confidence, though.
I am seriously considering buying a video camera and self-producing, by the way.
Posted by: David at September 4, 2004 06:18 PM