The world of cryptozoology is in a tizzy over the near-discovery of an entirely new legendary, nigh-mythical creature. This beast -- composed entirely of ground beef, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and pita bread -- stalks the ranches and farms of the southwestern US and northern Mexico, killing and draining the blood from all manner of domesticated animals, goats in particular.

They call it, "El Chalupacabra."