Since starting this blog, I have been overwhelmed with questions. People are virtually begging for me to parcel out even the smallest snippets of personal information. In an attempt to staunch the flow that threatens to overwhelm my mail server, I have pared down the really quite alarmingly long list of questions down to the representative few below. I hope that this will at least temporarily satisfy the throngs and allow me to regain some semblence of normalcy in my life. God knows I haven't seen that in years.

1. So. How are you?

I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

2. Read any good books lately?

Last book I read was The Destroyer #126: Air Raid. Right now I'm reading Catch-22, mostly because they showed the movie version on Bravo recently, and the book was on my shelf.

3. Any brothers or sisters?

They are both brothers. Dan is three years older. Trey, five years older. There's a scattering of half-brothers as well, but I don't keep track of them.

4. How's your mom?

Leave my mother out of this! I mean, she's fine, thanks for asking.

5. Do you like cheese?

Cheese and I are just good friends.

6. Ever been in the hospital?

Well, there was that birth incident. I was very young at the time. I cracked my forehead open once, on my brother's birthday, almost. Got thirteen stitches and learned to drive a wheelchair. Otherwise, I've just been a tourist.

7. What's with all the blue?

Pick one:
a) Black text on a black background didn't work out all that well.
b) It matches my eyes.
c) Blue? What blue? You mean you can't see the naked supermodel wallpaper?

8. Can I call you Jim?

As long as you don't call me Dick.

9. What's your sign?

("I blinked and answered, 'Neon.' I thought I'd blow her mind.")
That would be Taurus, the scourge of the china shop, the symbol of a healthy economy, the master of the streets of Pamplona. Moo.

10. Got any pets?

Living, you mean? Do things in the freezer count? What if it grew in the freezer? I had a Tamagochi once, but it ran away.

11. Fish like you, don't they?

They hold me in high regard due to my efforts as a worm-drowner in my youth.

12. Civil servant, eh. Do you not like money?

Four weeks of vacation every year, relatively flexible hours, and men with M-16's guarding every entrance to my building. What's not to like? Also, it was my only offer.

13. Want to volunteer anything?

Last time I volunteered for something, they took a pint of blood and gave me a cookie. Do I get a cookie?