On the occasion of my car's odometer approaching a hundred thousand miles and ticking over the last of its digits for the first time, I did a little math.

I bought it in January 97, so that's roughly five years, three months.

5 x 365.25 + 28 + 31 + 30.days. A total of 1915.25 days.

Drop the quarter day for simplicity, and multiply by 24.

1915 x 24 = 45,960 hours that my car has been on the road.

100,000 miles / 45,960 hours =2.175 miles per hour.

Man, no wonder I never get anywhere.

If I assume I was asleep one third of that time, and therefore unable to drive:

1915 x 16 = 30, 640 hours and an average speed of 3.26 mph.

If I ever get rid of it, think I can use this as a selling point? "Never took her above 4 miles an hour, on average."